Find Your Own Vibe

[3 Minute Read] If you try to emulate the way other people have achieved success, you’ll likely end up with tomato-flavoured chocolate. You’ll feel deflated and no one will want to consume what you’ve created.

Discover more about your bold mind every Monday

Perfection Is Defined By Purpose, Not Precedents

If you try to emulate the way other people achieve success, you’ll likely end up with tomato-flavoured chocolate.

PHOTO: We grow different varieties of tomatoes because each fulfils a different purpose for which they are perfectly suited.

The good-better-best formula for success

When I’m developing a skill or breathing life into an idea, I work with the principle of good-better-best.

During the early stages, I focus on achieving a level of ‘good’ and establishing solid foundations.

The next stage is ‘make it better’ mode, where I work on the significant opportunities for improvement.

Finally, I move into the mastery phase, focusing on being the best. I make fine adjustments that offer incremental gains.

Is my blog good?

This blog started life with a singular proposition; I wanted to document my journey in growing the Go-Getter’s Compass.

I’m the go-to gal for setting and achieving big goals within my circle of friends. Sometimes they have an idea for a new project and are unsure where to start, or they get blocked in their progress. Most often, it’s a business-related idea, a career change, or a big challenge they want to undertake.

I figured Go-Getter’s Compass was the perfect opportunity to document the inner workings of my mind. My friends and anyone else surfing the internet could read a practical perspective anytime needed.

From the outset, I focused on writing an 800-word post each week addressed to one of my go-getter gals. I visualised a different friend each week and wrote what I thought she would find helpful. I set the tone of voice to be reflective, honest and a mix of business and pleasure.

My progress tracked well until somewhere around edition #10, when questions raided my mind like ants at a picnic.

It started with one question; Is my blog good?

But soon, more pesky questions invaded from every direction.

  • Why would people bother reading?
  • What value is it adding to people’s lives?
  • Who am I to have an opinion?
  • Why did I think I had anything unique to offer?
  • Why don’t I have 10,000 followers already?

My mood slumped into a funk, as this extract from my journal shows:

Imagine being someone who knows nothing about me, and they read the blog. They might like what I’ve written, but they’ve got no reason to hang around. Why would they? What difference is this going to add to their lives? Zilch! I’m having a major mental dummy spit about this. Pissed-off and frustrated. Monday’s do that.

— MONDAY, 28 FEBRUARY 2022

What does good look like?

My mind wouldn’t drop the issue. I tried to convince myself that defining standards early in the game would be fruitless. My logical mind argued that I’d produced too few posts to get any meaningful line of sight on the value of the content. But my emotional mind hungered for reassurance that, yes, this blog is genius in the making. 

I decided to dive into some famous blogs to search for common threads in style, format and approach. I trawled through the posts of Tony Robbins, Brene Brown and a dozen others.

I figured they had already done the hard yards of working out what works. If I could distil the common threads that made them great, then I would have a formula for a gold-standard blog. I could then benchmark my current position, identify gaps and plan ways to close those gaps. 

Their good is not my good

I write in my journal most days. Sometimes I record a list of bullet points for what I did that day. Other times I write an unedited download of whatever is bouncing around in my mind.

At the end of each month, I flick back through the pages of my journal to identify overarching themes. I grab a coloured pen and draw lines under phrases and sentences that stand out. It enables me to see patterns in my thinking that aren’t obvious when I’m entrenched in daily activity. Social psychologists call the process meta-learning and the output meta-knowledge.

I flicked through the pages at the end of last month and gained a valuable piece of meta-knowledge. My gold-seeking approach created nothing but noise and junk.

Let me share a food example to clarify the problem.

I love eating premium grade chocolate, and it’s the perfect solution when I hunger for velvety sweetness.

I love eating home-grown tomatoes, picked moments before going into my mouth. They are the perfect solution for a healthy breakfast.

But cooking chocolate and tomato together creates a glob of guck that no one wants to eat.

My gal pals read the likes of Brene Brown or Tony Robbins for different reasons. As with chocolate and tomato, each fulfils a separate function in their life.

Robbins is perfect when they’re in the mood to get hyped, Brown for when they’re feeling vulnerable. Blend Brown with Robbins, and neither mood will be satiated. That’s what I was trying to do in seeking out the common threads to define what best looks like.

PHOTO: Our little fella Phoenix wearing a saddle for the first time. Any action that’s in the direction of good is rewarded at this early stage of his education.

Purpose defines the perfect solution

Armed with that insight, I got curious about how my go-getter gals use my blog. What is the appetite they are seeking to please when they click on one of my posts?

I searched through emails and chats where we discussed the blog and scrawled the list in my journal.

They use the blog:

  • To top up on positive vibes on a tough day
  • As a pick-me-up when motivation lags
  • To feel normal and confirm thoughts and feelings
  • To remember things they had learned in the past and then forgotten
  • Sporadically, not consistently, when they have the urge
  • To learn something about themselves
  • To feel close to me and know what’s going on in my life
  • To keep believing in what’s possible

As I wrote the list, my mood lifted.

My blog will be at its best when I work out the most effective way to fulfil that purpose in the life of my go-getter gals.

Discover more about your bold mind every Monday

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